When do you know it's time to let go?

I sat asking myself this at least a dozen times over the course of my last six and a half year relationship. The absence of a relationship over the past ten months has taught me that you never really know and once you make the decision, you have to stick with it. Constantly pondering the 'what if's' will not help you move on, nor help you grow as an individual. Instead it will give you a false reality and diminish all the things and reasons why you initially asked yourself why the relationship no longer served you. Knowing that you deserve more than the person is offering you at the moment is enough to walk away. Knowing that the person you are talking to is a great partner and person, but isn't your person, is completely valid. A partner can be a great partner, but not what you need and that is completely alright. Staying in a relationship because you are comfortable or because the other person is too comfortable to leave is not a reason to stay. That is settling and why would you or anyone else want to settle when your partner will be your person who you spend over 50% of your time with within your lifetime. Your partner should be more than just your best friend, and if their company is not as enjoyable as your friend's company is, then there is your answer.

If your answer to a relationship is not a 'hell yes' then you are wasting yours and their time. Life is way too short to have half ass love and half ass relationships. If you find yourself only choosing partners who satisfy half of your needs or choose them because they are a 'safe' option then it may be time to reevaluate what your expectations are for a relationship and what you are ultimately wanting in a partner. It is insane to think that these two may change over time as you grow and morph into a more independent person. Maybe you become more comfortable in yourself and your solitude that you not longer need a partner that takes control, but you instead need a partner who will offer an equal partnership. Maybe you realize that you needed to work on vulnerability and that you need a partner who is emotionally available and speaks your love language. Maybe you found yourself in a negative feedback loop with an anxious partner and you yourself are avoidant; causing a toxic love. When we look at our relationships from an objective point of view, that's when we can find the flaws in ourselves and our partners and decide if those are non-negotiables or if there are ways those things can be strengthened and grow together. 

You know when it is time to leave when you notice the patterns aren't changing, when the only thing keeping you together is a lease or children or a contract. You know it's time to let go when the other person is content in continuously hurting and lying to you. It is time to let go when you read this post to try and debate if it's time to let go.