5 Essential Strategies for Protecting Your Peace

I read a quote the other day that said "I once loved someone so much that I healed them while breaking me", if that resonates, you are in trouble. You should never give someone the power to disrupt your peace or change who you are for the worst. Your own inner peace is what tells you that no matter who comes in and out of your life, you will be alright because those that are meant to add positivity into your life will be there and those who don't, don't have a chair at your table. You know in Disney movies or thrillers, the villian is over 75% of the time someone that the main character is close to? Same thing applies to real life. Whose peace are you really keeping if you are consistently being steamrolled by people who claim that they care about you? The people you surround yourself around could help lift you or hurt you; you choose. Protecting your peace sometimes comes at the cost of losing the people you thought the world of; the people who you thought were your 'ride or dies'. PSA: Just because someone is blood or has been in your life your whole life, doesn't mean that they are good for you. One important thing I remind myself is that you don't like everyone so why are you trying to make everyone like you? Not everyone should be able to access your life, energy and time, so why is your mind occupied with them? Release what releases you.

Protecting your peace means only allowing people in your life who are good for you and align with your goals and objectives in life. Of course that doesn't mean pushing away everyone who doesn't agree with you, but it means to only make space for people who make space for you. Having a plethora of one sided relationships will eventually add up and leave you feeling alone when actual trouble arises in your life. If you have friends who only want to talk about positive things and get upset with you whenever you bring up serious topics or conversations, then that isn't a reflection of you, it's signs of immaturity on their part.

Please don't date or be friends with the people that require you to 'prove yourself to them'. Those are the wrong people to surround yourself around because they are transactional. No one should have to prove to anyone that they are a decent human and deserve respect and care. No one should have to convince anyone else to stay or be in their life; you either consciously decide to stay or leave, it's quite simple. Take it as a win and walk away.

I spent way too long compromising my peace trying to be happy in a relationship that I thought others wanted me to be in because he was "the best man" and I should be "grateful" to have him. Yes, he was and is an amazing man, but that doesn't make him an amazing boyfriend or an amazing partner for me. Don't ever spend you time trying to convince someone that you are worthy of being in their life; that's quite silly and takes a lot of time that you should be using to focus on growing yourself. There were signs of course that I ignored that if I really stopped to think about them would've made me realize I was not at peace until we broke up. Every time I flew into that area, I would get nauseous and if he was visiting me, I would be anxious and not sleep all week. It was a fairly healthy relationship, two healed individuals trying to make it work but at the end of the day, I was compromising my peace and who I was as a person in order to fit someone into my life.

Here are some essential strategies for protecting your inner peace:

1. Choose people that choose you

2. Live with the 'Not everyone deserves a seat at your table' motto

3. You don't like everyone so why are you so worried if others like you

4. Stop caring so much about what other people think/say about you

5. Keep some things private

6. Realize everyone's world revolves around themselves

7. Just because someone is a good person doesn't make them a person you want in your life

8. Let go of anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself

9. Stop hanging out with people who you dread seeing and doing it because you feel "obligated"

10. If your nervous system around them is upset, take it as a sign that that relationship is not worth it.