The Beginning of the End - Recognizing the signs that it’s time for a change

Sometimes, you don’t need to try harder, you actually need to give up and find something new. Sometimes you need to tell yourself or convince yourself that it's ok to give up, fail, start fresh. If something isn't working or making you happy, change, move, redirect. We were not made to be these stagnant, one passion only type of people. I guess the biggest question is when do you recognize that you have outgrown the people, places and environment around you? Does a bell go off and says “onto the next endeavor” or is is a slow creeping feeling that internally your nervous system tells you that you no longer feel safe or happy around the same people, places, things as you did before? Well when you look back on your time, your twenties, thirties, forties, one question you should always ask yourself is if you regret anything. If you made the same decisions today as your future self would respect, would you still be making the right choice? Don't stay in environments that are not healthy for your nervous system. Don't stay in relationships that are one sided or give you the bare minimum. Trust me, regret is a bigger pill to swallow than failure from trying is.

Sometimes the end creeps up and you don’t even notice that it’s happening until you look back and notice that everything‘s changed and that you no longer feel the same way that you used to. It may be that you don't feel as passionate as you did when you started, and instead of being driven with desire, you dread all the things you used to love. It can be bittersweet of course, outgrowing those around you, no longer being passionate about the thing you’ve worked so hard to get, realizing that the thing you work so hard for was only worth it because you wanted it but now that you have it, it’s not as bright and shiny as it was originally. I want to look back and say at least I tried, at least I gave it a full shot and can say that it didn't work for me and that's okay.

A question I have been asking myself lately is can you have a quarter life crisis if you are 26 and indeed not 25 anymore? I noticed that the things I wanted so badly when I was younger no longer seem relevant and the person I used to be no longer fits in the shell of a human I am now. My whole life, I've been basically the same person, dressed relatively the same, always took caution when doing things, never falling for anyone who I thought would hurt me, doing what I thought would make me look the best to others, etc. I noticed that a lot of this led to resentment towards myself, for taking life too seriously when I was younger and not thoroughly enjoying my college years, not forming friendships and relationships because I was afraid of losing people, I was afraid of losing myself, but in the meantime just built up years of a wall. When you change, it's scary how it happens slowly over time, picking up other people's mannerisms, learning new insecurities that lead to you covering certain things physically over time.

My favorite book when I was younger was called "The End of the Beginning", but over time I have thought a lot about how we all cherish things when there are fresh starts, but we don't talk about how uncomfortably difficult it is to start the beginning of the end. It's painful to see yourself change and to lose people who you thought were going to be in your life forever. It's difficult to consciously choose ourselves repeatedly because we know the only way to grow is to change. Well I am telling you now, if you are starting the beginning of the end, it's okay if you feel alone, the only way to grow sometimes is to focus on ourselves and push through because there is light on the other side. It's okay to say I want more for myself and this current environment is no longer serving me or my needs. It's okay to take some time to yourself alone to figure out what you want or don't want.

Here are some clear signs you have outgrown the environment around you:

1. You no longer find your friendships or relationships enriching or fulfilling.

2. You are finding that your career or life goals have changed and no longer align with your current career path.

3. Everything in your life seems lackluster or no longer interesting

4. Your passions are different, your hobbies are now chores.

5. The people around you no longer inspire you, but make you feel small or lack similarities.

6. Your nervous system is constantly making you think you are sick or tired.

7. You keep questioning if you should make a life change or not.